danny

one song i rediscovered after a while of liking it.
a strange kind of love song.

la vie á 2

donnes me de quoi tenir tenir
je ne veux pas dormir dormir
laisses moi voir venir le jour…
notre vie á deux s’arrète donc là
dans les grandes plainmes des peines à jouir
d’une vie qui ne veut plus rien dire
j’espère ne plus jamais faire souffrir quelqu’un
comme je t’ai fait souffrir…
je n‘ètais qu’un mauvais presage
on s’est aime
puis vint l’orage
moi qui aimais tellement ton sourire…
j’espère ne plus jamais faire souffrir quelqu’un
comme je t’ai fait souffrir…
pourqoui pourquoi meme quand les gens s’aiment
il y a, il y a, toujours des problèmes?

fallait pas qu’on se connaisse
fallait pas qu’on soit deux
fallait pas se rencontrer et puis tomber amoureux
notre vie à deux s’arréte donc là
là où les dieux ne s’aventurent pas
moi qui aimais tellement ton sourire…
pourqoui pourquoi meme quand les gens s’aiment
il y a, il y a, toujours des problèmes?

moi qui aimais tellement ton sourire
je n’entends plus que tes soupirs
j’espère ne plus jamais faire souffrir quelqu’un
comme je t’ai fait souffrir…
moi qui aimais tellement ton sourire
je n’entends plus que tes soupirs
donnes moi de quoi tenir tenir
je ne veux pas dormir dormir
laisses moi voir venir le jour…

il est minuit à tokyo
il est cinq heures au mali
quelle heure est-il au paradis?

—-
the life in two (together)

give me what I need to pull through
I don’t want to sleep
Let me see the day come
So our life together ends there
In the great plains of pain and joy
of a life which no longer has any meaning
I hope never again to make someone suffer
Like I made you suffer
I was just a bad omen
we loved each other
then came the storm
I who loved your smile so much
I hope never again to make someone suffer
Like I made you suffer
Why even when people love each other
Are there still problems?

It would have been better if we had never known each other,
it would have been better if we had never got together
better if we had never met and fallen in love
So our life together ends there
to the place where Gods dare not venture
I who loved your smile so much
Why even when people love each other
Do problems still exist?

I loved your smile so much
and now all I hear are your sighs
I hope never again to make someone suffer
Like I made you suffer
I who loved your smile so much
I hear no more than your sighs
Give me something to hold
I don’t want to sleep
Let me see the day come

It is midnight in Tokyo
It is five o’clock in Mali
What time is it in paradise?

— Manu Chao / Clandestino

love songs usually are about the good things about love, the tender moments, the sweet memories… but love, as anything else life offers us, has it’s counterside. it can be bitter as bitterness. it is though an experience, one that makes us what we are now.

is it our environment that has made us believe love is such a wonderful thing, in any of it’s outcomes, by means of beautifully handcrafted, well-ended songs? if so, is it fair to sing just to “happy love”? sad love has it place in life, sometimes not in songs. here in latin america we have a musical genre called boleros, and the mexicans they have their rancheras. they mostly talk about ill-ended love. then we have a mislove-coping process called “despecho” which consists of gathering your friends, drinking for several days till rubbishness, and then starting again life, reborn from love’s ashes, as a fenix… it is part of the healing process, to face your ghosts. love ghouls exorcised by friendship and booze.

and it works.

after 17 hours of sleep, yeap, life looks a little better.

many dreams, little of that they call reality.

for someone that sleeps something like 4-6 hours a day, this is therapeutical that has to be had once in a while.

happiness is around the corner, i can feel it…
my life is coming back a step at a time.

relationships.

they should give a course on them in high school. at least to be able to skip it, and then blame it for all we don’t (damn) understand of them.
truth to be told, it is not relationships. they should be simple. but the only problem, the little detail, the punchline is that they’re composed of… people. and people are so strange sometimes.

the strange thing, what makes everything extremely ludicrous, is that we all are quite bizarre (with the right amount of closeness). but we all don’t understand other people being bizarre. we don’t say the truth all the time, but cannot stand other people lying to us. cut the shit, we all lie. we all hide things (but you there, we know, but we’re not talking about you). we all want it our way. in a sort of degree, we’re all selfish brats. why not learning to be permissive and attent to all those selfish brats out there? they’re the same as us, but with different expressions.

be what you can, what you want, and let be. our children will need a better world where to be freaks of their own.

i mean.

La otra copa del brindis

Al principio ella fue una serena conflagración
un rostro que no fingía ni siquiera su belleza
unas manos que de a poco inventaban un lenguaje
una piel memorable y convicta
una mirada limpia
         sin traiciones
una voz que caldeaba la risa
unos labios nupciales
un brindis

es increíble pero a pesar de todo
él tuvo tiempo para decirse
qué sencillo
     y también
no importa que el futuro
       sea una oscura maleza

la manera tan poco suntuaria
que escogieron sus mutuas tentaciones
fue un estupor alegre
sin culpa ni disculpa

él se sintió optimista
         nutrido
           renovado
tan lejos del sollozo y la nostalgia
tan cómodo en su sangre y en la de ella
tan vivo sobre el vértice de musgo
tan hallado en la espera
que después del amor salió a la noche
sin luna y no importaba
sin gente y no importaba
sin dios y no importaba
a desmontar la anécdota
a componer la euforia
a recoger su parte del botón

mas su mitad de amor
             se negó a ser mitad
y de pronto él sintió
que sin ella sus brazos estaban tan vacíos
que sin ella sus ojos no tenían qué mirar
que sin ella su cuerpo de ningún modo era
          la otra copa del brindis

y de nuevo se dijo
qué sencillo
      pero ahora
lamentó que el futuro fuera oscura maleza

sólo entonces pensó en ella
             eligiéndola
y sin dolor
       sin desesperaciones
sin angustia y sin miedo
dócilmente empezó
        como otras noches
            a necesitarla.

Mario Benedetti
—-

i once found her, and lost her. she’s there, in the old continent, and tonight i miss her again, like a thousand times before.
bebé, this is for you, there in bella italia.

well, another day screwed at the end of it.

i mean it was a good day, a productive (?) one. then i go out with a friend of mine that i’ve been dating for a while, that i like a lot (still don’t know why, but i’m sure there’s a reason) and wham!, we start arguing.

what’s with me? i knew we were going to start arguing. i know our relationship was not born out of mutual comprehension. it is sort of a more physical one. we feel attracted to each other. we want to kiss and touch one each other. but then we have to (damn we don’t) go out for a drink. and we start talking about whatever, and then we’re both red and delluded. again. how many times can you be delluded of somebody else, or even yourself?

so sometimes relationships are based on sex. on love. on respect. on money. why do some peoeple have to fight that? why every damn relationship has to be a fully roamntic one, sort of a soap opera? i have a theory. lack of real life. no, it is not that. here in latinamerica it is an excess, an Ÿbersaturation of, er.., soap operas.

relationships have, IMHO, three legs, as to say. respect, sex and love. but it does not mean they need three legs. but some people need three legs to survive (the funny thing is that the relationship won’t survive, hehe). sometimes it is sex that links us to somebody else. or respect, or even love. ok, yes i want to have as many of them as possible. but things are the way they are. so if you have one, suppose sex, then do have sex, have more sex, enjoy it to the tears, and shut the fuck up.

i mean.

what do our friends stand for?

i mean, it is like your family, but your family is there put by the government, or god (or hell, yes i know). but they’re not your family. you choose them. and you usually have fun with them, either that or get some money out of them.

but beside the money and the gratification, why do we have friends? moreover, why do we have special friends? is it just because we don’t want to feel alone? or maybe for having somebody in case our car breaks down, or we need money (yes, money again, but it is a good reason indeed), or we need somethig from them.

perhaps it is just that we need to express ourselves, and since self-expression is one communication process, it requires a victim. so we’re willing to establish this reciprocal contract called friendship where we sign that “we’ll listen to them as long as they listen to us” kind of agreement. and then, like in the law, there are the ones that take advantage of it.

at the end, what would happen to you if you had no friends?

(you would start a weblog…)

well, i solved most of the blog’s problems. now i just have to make it look nicer. so at the end i did do something useful today.

ok, this blog is killing my last neurons. it has not been a day, and i already feel that my necessity for self expression is completely frustrated. damn the web.

i’m in no creative mood whatsoever. and i don’t even mean like for producing, working or the likes, i mean like for doing something, anything, that worths a dead rabbit. i cyberloafted the whole day (just when i thought i was completely annoyed of internet) and read much crap that’ll amount to my cv someday (maybe i can explain my future employer what the word spanghew means…)

for nobody (since i haven’t told anybody of the existence of this pathetic scape of a shrink), i discovered a connational on a java forum i’ve been for the last 3 weeks. it’s website is ok, he has a lot of fair ideas (yet to be developed), and he’s also into java and P5, and also he’s doing stuff that resembles mine (or viceversa). small world…

tomorrow i’ll be back to my useful, productive, enthusiastic life. tonight i’ll just catch something on the dumbbox (talking of boxes, i wish i had a xbox)