danny

so i wake up, disturbed and numb, again. i wake up and realise you’re not here. it is a pricking truth, at the beginning, but i then realise i’m used to it. i’ve been feeling like this every morning for a long time, and though it does still surprises me, it lasts just for a second.

but there’s something else today, yesterday. a feeling that starts to grow inside, that begins to build up, a sensation. the feeling comes as a hunch, as a blow, as a whisper in my ear. it has to do with you and this world. it has to do with you not being in this world. anymore.

i shake my head, trying to shake that feeling away. it goes for a second, then returns, slowly, softly, stubbornly.

i start seeing a picture. a beautiful picture of my world. it seems like there’s a lot going on. work, friends, cars, fruits, cities, money, cigarrettes, pens, coffee… everything in its right place. everything.

but you.

you’re not there, and i still have the feeling you’re not in this world anymore.

This entry was posted on Saturday, December 24th, 2005 at 03:54:13 and is filed under thoughts.