i’m back
August 20th, 2006i’m back to my old self.
sitting in front of my computer, working most of the time, procrastinating on things i don’t even have to do most of the time…
looking for a job. decided in europe. i like europe. travelling is great, cultures are many, people are surprising and straightforward, distances are short, airtickets are cheap. girls are somehow cute and wear short haircuts.
but i’m back to venezuela. the weather is the best in the world, life is simple and unstressed, nature is all over the place. clouds are beautiful, sun is everywhere, girls are very complex but beautiful, with long haired heads and sexy clothes.
i’m not doing much, though i’m always busy. i go to the beach, i go to the mountains. i stay at home and apply for masters in philosophy and interaction design and filmmaking and scholarships. i look for jobs and apply extensively. i read. i watch tv. i excercise regularly. i sleep the same as always, very little.
i wake up at 6 am, regularly. don’t ask me how, i don’t even use an alarm. i wake up and move my mouse to wake my computer up. i look for her to see if she’s online. she’s always online. it conforts me. i chat with her, extensively, intensely. perhaps too intensly. i love the feeling of having her on the other side of the wire. when she is.
she’s so far away, sometimes i wonder. sometimes i would like to have her right beside me. sometimes i wish i could hold her, kiss her, touch her, caress her. life is so sweet when she’s around.
i wonder what it will be if she wouldn’t be around. a moment later i know. but, somehow, even knowing she’s miles away.. even knowing she’s sometimes out of reach… that she takes some space… life is sweet and sour. at the same time. so sweet and so sour, at the same time.
i’m a contact person. i’d like to be closer, but then she might get scared and run away. who knows. i surely don’t.
i miss the smell of her neck.
oh boy, how i miss her.
but i’m halfway content. most of the time…