danny

now i see it. i suddenly see it clearly.

how not to have scared you, how not to have driven you away, now i think.

i love you. i saw you right beside of me, for a long time, and i played along, like it was the present, when it was only a reminiscence, an idea of a possible future. i played it like it was a sure thing, and in doing so i took you for granted.

strike one.

i wanted to give you my heart. i wanted to give you my soul. i wanted to give you my life, and all the experiences, learnings and happiness that came with it. in doing so i did not see the responsibility i was laying in your hands, one that you did not necessarily wanted now. that of holding me, of owning me, of having to make yourself responsible of that heart, that soul. one of a future of trying not to break such a precious, delicate, fragile treasure.

strike two.

i saw your strengths. i saw your potential. i saw the power you have to be the best, of focussing and determined achieving it all. i tried to support it, but by doing so i forced you to change too fast, i forced you to analise all your certainties, your knowledge, your beliefs, your dreams and ideals. violently you felt all your world trembling under the weight of a different one you could not feel you but through the slow learning, the constant acknowledging, and the careful deciding that could make it truly yours. i made you collapse under the weight of a borrowed life.

strike three.

i’m out…

This entry was posted on Tuesday, April 6th, 2010 at 05:07:40 and is filed under thoughts.